The Cheap Bar That Was...

Bar Name – Ambience - The ‘Dining’ Bar

Price of Beer - Rs. 210 for a Kingfisher bottle

Location – Lower Parel, Next to Peninsula Business Park

Size of the Bar – Medium

Place Availability – Insanely difficult to get a table. Forget this place on a Friday/Wednesday night.

Ambience – Faux classy joint with Bob Marley posters on the wall. (Barf!)

Unique Plus Point – Projector screen for cricket matches and a good, media-centric crowd

Rating – 4 out of 5 Beers

The mini-review may just give you the impression that I like this joint. But I do not! In fact I hate it. Because this bar is a sell-out!

Let me take you back in time, to an era when there was no additional tax on booze and people could smoke wherever the hell they felt like and sometimes, just sometimes, you could drink without the fear of getting beaten up by cops.

Yes, it was a good time and shockingly it was only about 5 years ago. I was in college and when I wasn’t drinking them down at York’s (review coming soon) I’d make my way over to Lower Parel for an awesomely inexpensive drink in a rather dingy old joint.

This joint was called Ambience, unrecognizable to those who’ve only seen it for the past few years. The paint was chipping off the walls, there was no retarded pop music and the booze was oh so cheap. Even with the new taxes and adjusting for inflation, a bottle of beer there would cost you Rs.150, no more. But it wasn’t just about the money. Ambience had character back then; it was a media bar, and the kind of media bar that real media people crave - dark, quiet, cheap and completely devoid of pretentious shit.

I miss that bar, because this new one is just a shell. It’s an exterior, painted shiny with some chrome put on to attract people who like that sort of thing. It’s the quintessential sell-out.

None the less, I shall stay objective in my mini-review of this joint and give it 4 beers. Primarily because of the food, comfortable seats and awesome service. Go. Have fun. I hate you all. 

Of booze and bad, bad moods!

Bar Name – Booze on Moods

Price of Beer - Rs.200

Location – Next to Peninsula Business Park, Lower Parel

Size of the Bar – Medium

Place Availability – Gets tough on Wednesdays and Fridays. But you'll get one.

Ambience – Couple of TV’s and your typical 90’s pop playlist.

Unique Plus Point – Nothing in particular.

Rating – 2 out of 5 Beers

If you’ve ever lived or worked in Lower Parel, then you’ve suffered the agony of having to wait outside Ambience for a table. It takes half a lifetime and sometimes doesn’t even happen. Ambience is awesome and so of course, everyone wants to go there.

Now while you wait in that line, I’m sure you’ve often thought, maybe there should be another bar, another place like Ambience in Lower Parel, so I wouldn’t have to wait out here on the street like an animal.

Well, for the past year or so, there has been another place. Another ambience if you will. It’s called Booze on Moods and for many, many reasons, it’s a terrible place.

Walk in there, go ahead, just to challenge yourself if for no other reason. Sit yourself down and take a gander at their menu. Better, more kvlt copy I have not read in my lifetime.

Once you’ve stopped laughing uncontrollably and your breathing has returned to normal, place an order. The service will oscillate between disinterested and utterly incompetent.

Once the rage has dissipated, order some food. This will be the only saving grace of your evening.

Have a listen to the music, which is your typical Bryan Adams somehow flowing seamlessly into Sisqo and Baha Men type playlist.

And then GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

Because every so often, the bar descends into what I like to call the ‘Cheap Bar Orgy’.

This phenomenon occurs when a bunch of ‘not-so-cool’ individuals (That’s putting it mildly) happen to be friends with the owner/manager of the bar. They show up, connect their Nokia 3310’s to the DJ console and begin to play the entire Aashiqui 2 album on loop.

Let me be honest, this can happen in any cheap bar. It starts with one song and a couple of dudes walking in and suddenly the whole place is a fucking shirts optional house party.

But it hasn’t happened to me anywhere else, only at Booze on fucking Moods. Where, while I was enjoying a drink with my friends, the place turned into a mad house. It was not pleasant, it was not fun, it wasn’t even – it’s so bad, it’s good. It was just really, really sad.

Booze on Moods had a chance to do something rather spectacular. They could’ve created a bar that was a genuine option when Ambience gets crowded. That almost guarantees a full house every weekend. But no, instead they’ve chosen to be little more than a poorly managed dive bar with air conditioning and a mark-up.

My advice – shut yourself down and hand over the keys to someone who knows what they’re doing. Like the management at Ambience, perhaps.  

Photo Courtesy: DineOut.co.in